Errand boy

Let me tell you a little about Nneka, she's quite a beauty, she sure is, & you will definitely respect me & my choices when you see her. The only issues I've got here is... how do i put this... okay! she's in love with Hamza, who turns out to be my friend. Now before you start hating me, I've got thousands of reasons why she should be in love with me instead of Hamza, i mean... that cheat is a cheat, a liar, he can't be with Nneka & never will be with her. She fell in love with him almost 8 months now, all he does is keep in touch & send her money, that's all, how can he be just a few miles away and would never visit her in campus yet she's all over him instead of me the faithful & caring errand boy? How i hate that attribute. According to a Nigerian artiste, Faze "A woman needs affection...", i helped Nneka sort out her carry overs last semester na. "... Attention...", my schedules becomes irrelevant at her calls. "... protection..." Hamza wasn't there to fix her broken door after she got bugled, i did, i even got her an expensive security door. " ... and love ...", well, she's yet to give me a chance, she's got to give me that chance today in this party, she had better give me that chance.

There was a whirl of multi coloured lights as Olamide's voice threatened to burst through the speakers with his 'lagos boys', everybody in the party seemed to have memorised the lyrics of the song and was embarking on a fruitless mission to out loud the speaker. There was this uniform shoulder dance that had dominated the party hall since the Disk Jockey scratched in the song, whereas pockets of smooch & endearment sessions could be spotted at virtually every corner of the arena. An anxious Joseph holding a half filled glass of 'red wine' sat at the bar, though not drinking, he would sacrifice anything to maintain a conscious state at the moment. Technically, he was watching the dancers doing their thing and enjoying the scene, but in reality, he had his eyes fixed on Nneka and suppressing a boiling rage to pounce on the numskull that has been dancing glued to her bum. The dancer, probably drunk, made yet another attempt to make a grab at her breast when she finally put a halt to his advances with a thunderous slap that wowed the nearby dancers and exited the dance hall for the bar, leaving a sullen drunk rubbing his red right cheek & watching her walk away, Joseph smiled at this development as she approached him.

"Babe! You de vex o"
"That guy is a scumbag, you need to see what he's been trying to do since, for crying out loud, do i look like those type of girls?"
"Definitely not, you sure placed him where he belongs"
"Very stupid guy... are you drinking that?" She pointed at the drink in Joseph's hand. He passed the drink to her as she sat on the stool next to his. He took the bottle and made to pour her more wine.
"May i?"
"No, let me manage this. Has he called you?"
"No, not really, he called you?"
"Tell me the truth, is Hamza a married man?"
"Wow! I should be asking you that na, aren't you closer to him?"
"Joe! I think Hamza is cheating on me" Joseph who had been observing as events unfolded in the party since Nneka left the dance arena, stood up holding Nneka's hands "I think we should leave this place immediately"
"Why?"
He nodded towards the direction where 3 huge men surrounded the guy involved in Nneka's showdown like they were taking orders from him. She didn't hesitate as they both made way out of Billy's joint in a hurry, flagged an Okada which sped away just in time to catch 2 of the huge men force their way out of the crowded entrance of the party venue. 'Lucky us' Joseph thought while Nneka who was sandwiched between Joseph & the Okada rider, couldn't seem to recover from her state of exuberance, "that was awesome" she kept screaming as they were gunning for Nneka's rented one bedroom apartment, not very far from campus.

Twenty minutes later, exactly 15 minutes to 11 pm, Joseph & Nneka were sitted in the living room of Nneka's apartment "You're only angry because Hamza couldn't show up today"
"Couldn't show up today? Will he ever show up? Is this how to treat someone you claim to love? Now he isn't taking his calls, is he a married man? What does he want from me? Why is he doing this to me?"
"I can't tell, you sho..." she interrupted "Why can't you tell, isn't he your friend? Do you know what? Finish your meal and leave me alone, I've had enough for one night, moreover, it's getting late, my landlord don't like his gates opened till late"
"Fine, let me tell you the truth, Hamza is not only a married man, but a cheat as well, i didn't want to come in between you gu..." there was an attempt to open Nneka's locked door to no avail, Joseph stiffened while Nneka relaxed as she heard keys dangle & one being inserted in the key hole, a turn, then the door opened. A tall lady on a track suit walked into the well furnished sitting room, holding a basket ball under her arm, she paused to examine Joseph who was sitting on a couch, devouring a plate of rice & stew placed on a stool before him, then said "Hi!" With a slight wave of her left arm. "Hello! & welcome" Joseph replied in a puzzled expression. Nneka who had been whining on the opposite couch said a flat "welcome", picked up a remote controller and changed the startimes channel. The basket baller rolled her ball to a corner of the living room and proceeded to the inner room, switching on the light.
"I didn't know you now have a roommate" Joseph whispered
"She's not my roommate, she's a family friend, who is only visiting"
Silence fell in the house, only the sound emanating from Joseph's spoon as it struck the ceramic plate could be heard. The basket baller came out of the bedroom few minutes later, wrapped in a 'Chicago bulls' designed towel and proceeded to the bathroom, a few feet away. She ran her bath water, came out, and entered the kitchen. Nneka who was no longer comfortable with the atmosphere in the room, broke the silence as the basket baller came out of the kitchen "How was your game?" Ignoring the question, "I can't find my shower cap" "it's in the bathro..." "it's not there" she interrupted and returned to the kitchen. Nneka and Joseph who was just through with his food exchanged glances, then she got up, cleared the empty dishes and headed for the kitchen. Joseph pulled out a serviette from its pack placed on a shelf that rested on the wall, dabbed the corners of his mouth, picked up some crumbs he dropped and followed Nneka almost immediately to the kitchen.

Papa Nkechi collapsed when the Doctor after the blood test revealed that Nkechi whom he had nurtured all these years as his only daughter wasn't related to him biologically, he recovered after few minutes. He would have had a cardiac arrest and died if he found himself in Joseph's shoes, standing at the door of Nneka's kitchen, watching Nneka, the supposed love of his life and the basket baller exchange saliva in a hot french kiss session. "Jesus!" Nneka broke out of the basket baller's grip in a shock "Joseph! What are you doing here?" She asked in a panic while the basket baller frowned "Jesus? What about Him? Excuse me abeg" she left both of them in the kitchen, slightly giving Joseph who was on her way a shoulder and went to the bathroom. Nneka who had recovered from the shock of being caught in the act said "well, now that you've caught me, let me expl..." Joseph, now angry, replied in a harsh tone "don't you dare, don't even try it" now furious, Nneka retorted "Who are you to tell me that? How dare you speak to me like that?" "Why shouldn't i? You cheat, dirty thing, so you're even a lesbian?" "Cheat? On who? You timorous dumb? Look who's calling someone dirty", "no wonder there's no man in your life" "there's a man alright, only that he isn't man enough for me, he doesn't even have the guts to ask me out, he's only an errand boy" Joseph laughed, 'let me finally let the cat out of the bag' he thought. "You see how bli..." she cut him off "Don't even start, you shameless timid fool, how did Hamza really get my Facebook contact? Why did he contact me barely a week after i told you my type of men? How come he fits all my description and coincidentally, he has a friend in my school and that friend is you?  Why does he always seem to say the right things and do things the way i want it done? Isn't it obvious? Do you think everybody are fools like you? I dial his number, he doesn't receive, but you just spoke to him not quite long ago, you're not even a good actor. You have just one phone contact, yet you walk around with 2 phones, are you that senseless? At the club, i tried to reach him, but smiled each time i dialled his number and see a light shine from your pocket, shame on you Joe, shame on you" The bewildered Joseph with eyes popped out replied in a much lower tone "you mean you knew all these while that Hamza didn't exist and you were only eating my money all along?" "No, i mean you've overstayed your welcome and there's the door"