wtf!

"Long live NYSC, long live Ebonyi State, & long live Nigeria, thank you." The hall plunged into an uproar of applaud as the first lecturer left d podium for his sit on d high table having delivered a 45 minits lectures on d roles corp members shld play in d implementation of Govt policies. Homom lookd @ his wrist watch which displayed 9:40am, d hall wuz still in applaud so he jst sat dia reminiscing his morning earlier on. He had accomplishd evry task he lined up for accomplishing in a short period of his morning & still made it early to his lectures, wit exception to breakfast though. He wuz lookn good 2day, dat he knew & intended gettn attention. Upon arrival @ d venue, his fellow corp members further confirmed his dressing wit d compliments de rained on him. Dia wuz anoda grumble in his stomach, & d bitter fact of his tommy state ruined d sweetness of his current thoughts. He turnd 2 d left in search 4 solution no mata hw little & further 2 d rite. "Ehen Tope! Lemi get dat Kola abeg" "tot u said u've neva eatn it?" "Wuz only kiddn abeg, gimi sumfin joor" she searched her hand bag & retrieved d kola dat wuz servd to begin d lectures accordn to d Ibo tradition, & gave it to him. Wit a hungry eye, he excavated d kola too big for a 1st timer & 2 hide d reaction of his face to d ugly bitterness. He chewed & chewed wit d hope dat dis bitterness wld usher in sweetness soon. Dis wuz much for him so he returnd d rest of d kola to Tope who was concentrating on d emcee as such didn't observe Homom's predicament & d hangn hand of half Kola.

wat happened in d next 3 minits wuznt in Homom's to do list, d ground refused to open & swallow him @ dat very instant & d real attention he craved strolled in. D lecture wuz immediately paused as its audience in amazement, shifted virtually allaf her gaze to Homom who jst puked a greenish, liquid & sticky substance wit particles of chewed Kolanut.