Emeka George

It was another sunday morning in the same Church, the same Pastor & only few changes in the faces of the Church members, Emeka was sitted at the same corner of the Church which he sat 8 months back. The only notable difference was; instead of sitting amongst his peer group like way back, he was sandwiched amongst his family members, few neighbours and other well wishers. This group wore bubbly faces and were so anxious to incorporate the rest of the world into their galaxy of felicitation. To Mrs. Chinwe, the Pastor was taking ages to drop the bombshell while Emeka kept his mind focused on his 3 staged moves. His elder sister who was sitted next to him gave him a nudge and deported him from his fantasy back to the Church
"nna ke buno?"
"Aunty biko apumaka"
Emeka replied in a blush while she chuckled at the little boy who just couldn't conceal his feelings at this moment, he was like a room with opened windows without curtains.

At about 15 minutes later, the Pastor finally made the long awaited announcement and the drama that followed was such that wouldn't be forgotten in a hurry by whosoever witnessed it. The Georges' immediately plunged into a jubilee trance as they subconsciously covered the distance between their role and the altar while Emeka unleashed his stage one moves. His elder sister however remained with the neighbours and other well wishers, safe guarding the bag of rice, cartons of Juice and can drinks that the Georges' came with. The rest of the Church members sang songs of praises with the choir group as they waited for Emeka and his entourage to register their readiness at the altar which would terminate the keyboard players before the commencement of the testimony. Emeka who was the core of this drama was enjoying himself, swaying to all directions, shuffling his feet alongside the rhythm and came to a halt at the altar with a creep walk as the drummers rolled their drums to a stop. The microphone was handed over to Mr. George who held hands with his wife while their 3 male children and 2 nieces surrounded them at the altar.

"Praaaaaaaaaise the living God!"
"Hallelujah!"
responded the Church and this repeated itself before he continued
"As most of you already know, my name is Mr. George and this is my lovely wife, Mrs. Chinwe George"
The old man in his late 60s announced and coughed roughly, thanks to his dry throat that had suffered intense nicotine injection.
"The Lord is good, all the time. There have said that admission is hard in this country and many people did not go to school again beca... gbehe!... gbehe!...."
He beat his chest hard and cleared his throat again while Mrs. Chinwe parted her husband lightly at the back. He paused for a while then continued
"I remember that day when Pastor prayed for my son and his friends before the exam, i just look at it like na usual, my son tell me that people have write jamb plenty times and still no get school, so i tell him to write next year again because his result no good. But you see? Amen? Amen! God saw the suffering old man that i am, and bless my family. That the same bad result did not only give him school now, it also give him University inside Abuja which he did not apply for"
A lady from the congregation stretched a 'praise the Lord' which triggered a thunderous 'hallelujah' before they allowed Mr. George forge ahead.
"The Lord tell us in Jeremiah 29:12, i will listen to you, he has listen to us and i know that my Lord will watch over this boy inside the University because he say so in Psalm 32:8"
Immediately, the choir group ignited another series of praise songs while Emeka activated his stage 2 moves as a good number of the congregation stood up from their sits and followed the Church's rhythm by clapping hands.

With the testimony by this Old man of his son who failed the Joint Admission and Matriculation Board (JAMB) examinations and yet secured admission in the university, 10am service in the Pentecostal church located at Nubia Street, Afikpo road, Enugu, crawled to a close and by 12:10pm, a lot of her members could be seen with little hampers of Juice and can drinks under the scorching November sun, trying to get away from the Church premises.

My Eko story

"Madam enter motor make we go na" "you no o kon open boot maa put load?" "Madam abeg enter with the bag" "driver! ahn ahn! e go better make she put am for..." "enter if you de enter jorey or your pikin go come down maa comot for here" "wait first... wetin de the boot were you no wan open?" "yes! why you no wan open the boot sef" "Small boy oya kon down, go meet your mama" The driver by the wheels of the Toyota Carina E wagon stretched an arm behind and opened the rear passengers door by the right. As the little boy who was already sitted made to get off the vehicle to meet his waiting mum, a passenger who was sitting beside the driver switched off the vehicle, removed the car key and got out of the car as well. "you must show us wetin de that boot were you no want make they open" "oga abeg na, give me my key, i de hurry" just then the rest of the passengers alighted from the vehicle and joined the first passenger "yes! wetin de that boot sef?" "na so una go de carry bomb waka" "kon open am make we see" "Bros abeg, na ice block de my boot" "kon open am make we see joor" the driver now alarmed at the possible crowd these passengers were likely to pull decided to justify their curiosity. He opened the boot from the inside and alighted from his vehicle, wearing a sad look. 2 more passerby had added to the actors of this scenario while the youngest amongst the passengers who was probably going to work for the night shift produced a flash light from his bag. The half a dozen crowd became alert in case of a possible pursuit of the driver and relaxed when the driver lifted the opened trunk of the vehicle. 8 large bars of Iced water laid in the trunk, occupying virtually every available space there was, living everyone disappointed. He gave the passenger who started the hullabaloo a long look of disdain and snatched his car keys from the clutch of a relaxed hand, walked tall to the opened drivers door and colapsed in the sit. He heaved a heavy sigh of relief, started the car and drove away, abandoning the passengers who had boarded the vehicle from Oshodi without demanding a dime for fare. 

'so.... na so these people for mend me?.... inside Eko?.... well, i no blame them sha, na boko haram cause am' Saheed thought as he drove off. He heard a noise behind his vehicle as he galloped over a pot hole. He turned and discovered he hadn't shut his trunk properly so he drove to a kerb close to a waiting passenger and parked. He got off the vehicle, went behind and slammed the trunk shut. As he was about to proceed, the waiting passenger asked "where?" "bariga... You de go?" Saheed entered his vehicle and threw the front passenger's door open. The passenger closed the front door, entered the vehicle through the rear and settled his bulk. "What a day! Thank God you drove by, can you imagine since when I've been standing there?" Saheed just drove off without a reply. Absolute silent fell in the vehicle, the passenger examined the vehicle in a quick glance, noticed 2 stickers of Living faith Church on the dashboard and grinned, he checked the time on his wristwatch and reacted in awe "Ah! I'm even late for service..." He brought out a mobile phone from his breast pocket, tapped and slid on the screen and pressed the phone to his right ear. ".... Bayo.... Bayo! Where are you?... Okay, have your sales reached 10k?... Seven?.... Okay... I'm approaching you now, I'm in a cab, Just come out with the money, I will collect it at the gate, Please hurry.... busy? are you the only one on duty?..... What! I'm sacking those stupid girls today, no more queries. Get 200 Naira ready before i get there, I'm almost at the.... no change? Okay... I'm coming" The passenger hung up and started muttering words not audible to the driver. Saheed had drove through Gbagada phase 2 and entered Bariga from the west, escaping the traffic jam at Bariga junction because of the market. He was about to ask the passenger where he intended to alight and inform him that he wasn't driving beyond the restaurant and bar 2 blocks away when the passenger said "stop me here please". The passenger made a move to open the door "Oga you never gimi money o" said Saheed "Oh! Sorry, Let me get the fare from my boy in the bar, its two hundred Naira na abi?" "Na so, oya na" The passenger alighted, took 3 steps away towards the entrance of the restaurant, stopped suddenly and made a U turn to the cab "please give me eight hundred Naira, i will send my boy with a thousand Naira now" Saheed thought for a while, opened his pidgeon hole, retrieved 3 rumpled one hundred Naira note, took out his wallet, produced a 500 Naira note, added it to the lot and handed it over to his passenger who pocketed the money and entered the premises of the very busy restaurant and bar. Saheed beckoned at the guard stationed at the entrance who advanced to Saheed in long strides "bros! you get?" "ehn! maa follow back drop am... abeg ehn, no let that man were enter now now comot..... and.... help me tell Egbon Tunde make him kon help me for back abeg" "no lele na" Saheed turned right and drove through a rough path towards the small gate behind the restaurant and bar and killed the engine. He took out a bunch of keys, opened the big padlock on the gate, flung the gate opened and stiffened at what greeted him. 

"Ah! Bros!" "Oga!" "ehn... well done o.... i been say maa piss, that's why i de try open the gate" "see the toilet there, you don pass am" The fat man with a bottle of 'star' underarm that had wowed Saheed further squeezed the shirt he had made into a ball and shuffled his feet, not knowing what to do next. "Ehm.. but shey de no de lock this gate before na?" Saheed who had recovered from the shock of finding this fat man trying to open the gate from inside frowned "You don collect the money from your boy were de run my bar?" "Ah! Ba bao! me no know say na you get this place na" "you pay for that bottle so?" The fat man smiled and began to chuckle "Ba bao! You na bad guy, you just lo....." "Gimi my eight hundred Naira first of all" The fat man still smiling inserted his hands into his pocket and produced the exact money he had collected from Saheed earlier on. Tunde joined them few minutes later, studied the scene for a while and asked Saheed in Yoruba dialect. "Egbon! Shey Ole ni eleyi?" "Fi le... Ore mi ni.... Abeg help me off load those ice, lock the gate when you finish, bring the key for me... bros! Follow me" He held the fat man by the wrist and took him to a small dirty room that served as food store and a locker room. Saheed sat on a bag of rice smiling while the fat man whose face had lost all it's glamour stood there wondering what's going to happen to him. "Shey ogbo Yoruba?" "I no understand" "your name?" "Nnamdi.... See Egbon! abeg no vex, actu...." "who tell you make you talk?... trying to Job a gee man na the last thing were you for think of for this life...... First of all, gimi your phone......" Nnamdi reluctantly handed over the phone. "...... pull your shoe, take this slippers make you fold your trouser" "bros abe...." "Shut up! na you go pound all the yams this night then by 3am when we de close, i go help your ministry with half of the money were you been wan steal from me, no complain, shey you get me? abi i no try?" "Ah! Bros! Na da one? we de together na.... how about this fine boy?" Nanmdi asked caressing the bottle of 'Star' he was clutching now. "Gimi something joor, you de craze... I go lock back door, just join those women for kitchen, i de go tell them about you now.... maa no catch your leg for front door o... ehen!... oya comot, your things de hear and i de lock this door too... We go see by 2" Saheed left, leaving Nnamdi with mouth agape, wearing a wry smile. 'i love this guy' he thought.

Jan Wiya

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

"1: To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the Heaven. 2: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;".

Just like Prophet Noah (AS) was asked to bring aboard a pair of each animals, so as every coin has two sides.

The 5 years old metal bar which looked like it had stood the test of time as a result of lack of proper maintenance, wasn't left out of this 2 sides syndrome; while one side contained a long dirty corridor with a wall yellow painted wall, hovered by a brownish white ceiling fitted with 3 bulbs in a straight file, 6 metres from each other, the other side held 3 cells of 8 feet each, with holes drilled at a corner which served as a comfort station, a mat, bucket and a keg for water in each cells. Mr. Andrew Adaka sat on a mat in the currently only occupied cell of Magongo Police station in Kogi State, singing 'redemption song' by Bob Marley. 13 minutes had passed the 23rd hour of the day and the police station seemed deserted, this made Mr. Adaka's voice a little louder. "My friend! You no go shut up?" one amongst the only 2 police men that reported and remained in the station for the night duty appeared from a door at the beginning of the corridor, with a 2 weeks old newspaper, marching towards Mr. Adaka's cell. "Sorry sir!" Mr. Adaka returned and stiffled a laugh "you de craze? Why you de laugh like fool since when you come here?" "no vex sir, I'm sorry" he replied and turned his face to the opposite direction. The police constable looked at the newspaper he was holding, indicated a photo with a finger and jammed the paper to the bar, "you know this man?" Mr. Adaka stood up half way from his sitting position to get a clearer look at the photo and returned almost immediately, replying "nope" flatly. "Wetin be your name?" "Jan wiya" "I mean your real name... in full" Mr. Adaka replied "red neck" and smiled, this seemed to infuriate the Police constable, "you de mad? You think say na play I de play for here?..." the police constable walked away and returned 2 minutes later with a slightly heavy bucket, flung the contents of the bucket through the bar on Mr. Adaka and continued "... I say wetin be your name?" the wet man who had tried to dodge the incoming water but to no avail frowned at this development and replied in an angry tone "I want to see my lawyer" "God punish your Papa and the lawyer, I go kill you here and nothing go happen if you no answer me today" "I said I want to see my lawyer" "You still get mouth to talk abi? make i..." "Simon! Simon!! ... " the police corporal on duty who had just emerged from the door of the entrance to the corridor called out "... that's enough... stand down" "see this stupid..." "I said stand down! constable" Constable Simon hissed and walked away from the corridor, bucket in hand, leaving behind the soaked newspaper which had contributed to the mess. The Corporal walked down the corridor to the last room that's usually used as a locker room, fetched a small towel from a heap of clothes, flapped it twice to reduce the dust concealed in it, left the room and proceeded to Mr. Adaka's cell. "Sorry about that Sir... here you go" He passed the towel through the bar to Mr. Adaka who just accepted and smiled without uttering any word. "You seem to be glad you're here... it's like you don't talk very much.... well... I'm sorry about what my colleague did to you...." the Corporal went on a squat position and picked up the wet newspaper which began to drip out water and continued. ".... we've been arguing since you arrived here, I told them the man in the paper was you but no one seemed to believe... your lawyer would be arriving tomorrow morning, I contacted him personally... well... I don't have any clothes here, you can keep the towel sha... call out if you need anything" The corporal rose from his squat position and turned to take his leave "you're a good man" Mr. Adaka replied as he unbuttoned his shirt to dry his body with the towel. It was the Corporal's turn to keep mute though he paused for a while then kept on. "You were right, I am the one in the photo" the Corporal turned and smiled "hum! Can I ask anoth..." "no need, I will tell you why I'm not making a fuss about being here... but before I start, can you get junks for me? I'm hungry, I couldn't eat that thing you guys served me"

"My name is Andrew Adaka, Regional manager of Geerian Bank, that is North Central Region and my family stays here in Magongo while I travel round, you know bank job things na. I spent last weekend with my family and was leaving the house on Monday morning when I was greeted with the shock of my life..." He paused and munched the bread which was on his right hand and disolved it for easy swallow with the Pepsi which he held on his left. He nodded his head, smiling with a mouth full while he chewed hungrily. He seemed to be enjoying the mixture of the meal with the story he was telling so he continued without waiting to swallow up. He started in a babble-like tone which subsided as his throat went into action " I want you to get something straight, do you know Habis Foundation?" "uhhhhhhm No" "well, find out when you can, I'm a proud member. I am the last child and only son of my parents, and was well catered for. My parents were always there for me, my sisters always had my back, my dad was a school teacher, I never for once saw him caned anyone, he scolded my sisters but never laid a finger on any of them, I remember he used to say... 'no one in his right sense would hurt a woman', 'The World shakes when a woman cries and if it's because of you, every living thing goes against you'... my dad once caused the expulsion of a student, a prefect for that matter for slapping a lady, that's exactly what I grew up to live with. May his Soul rest in perfect peace because this training was the best thing that ever happened to me. I became a feminist and made sure I was a member of every serious association, movement or organisation, championing the cause of the right treatment to women. I ignited the abolishment of female bank DSAs and employed the once with my bank and in my region" he bit another piece of the bread, drank more Pepsi, and threw the last piece into his mouth. He paused, swallowed, drank a little more Pepsi, raised the bottle to ascertain the current level, belged a little, covering his mouth with his right hand and dropped the bottle beside his left leg. The patient corporal who stood at the other side of the metal bar leaned on the wall to ease his tiring legs. "On Monday morning, as I was driving to work, I saw a little gathering of people close to that government primary school, along ikpa road, it's not far from my house. It looked like a thief was nabbed and apprehended and they were heading to the police station, but when I drove passed the angry crowd, I discovered that a girl of not more than 14 years of age had been blanketed with the crowd as I sighted the idiot that held her by her trousers, slapping her while one woman who was walking with the crowd supported the lynching with heavy knocks on this lady's head, for what possible reason?" "Innalilahi wa Innalilahi rajiun" "oh! Are you a Muslim?" "yes I am..." "but... you don't look like an aboki na" The corporal chuckled, "I'm from Enugu though" "wow! Ibo Muslim? I've never met one, nice to have met you, interesting... but does your religion support maltreatment of women?" "to the best of my knowledge, no... there's even a complete verse of the Holy Qur'an that was dedicated to women" "yea... I thought as much, the founder of Habis Foundation is a Muslim too and she has admonished us on this on several occasions" "that's nice... well...?" "well... I parked my car immediately, scrambled out and encountered this angry mob, you won't believe the crime they said she committed" "and what could that be?" "She was staying with her Aunt as house help, she did something wrong at home on Saturday and escaped as her Aunt wanted to flog her with a cain, they waited for her till evening before they decided to go in search of this small girl. The whole neighbours didn't rest through out the Sunday while searching for this girl until after a tip off, they found her on Monday morning in one uncompleted building were touts do smoke marijuana. That was all fa... I told them it wasn't worth what they've subjected her to and the lynching must stop, the stupid boy that was dragging her by the trousers who I later discovered was her Aunt's brother in-law, handed this small girl to the woman I told you was knocking the girl who happened to be the said Aunt and faced me. Lo and behold, I received the beating of my life on Monday. Nevertheless, I didn't give up after the first round of my beating, I tried to break the girl free and run away with her but it was 2 against this wicked people, they took turns in driving home that part that I should have minded my business. My clothes were tattered to pieces, it's like they didn't know I parked a car if not, I wonder what would have happened next. Its a wonder they beat me up and let me go, but it was the greatest mistake they made. I got in my vehicle, and sped home... hehehehe! my wife nearly ran away when she saw me emerged from the car.... what a day" the Corporal made his eye brow to a furrow, "I don't get, is that all?" "yea... that was what happened na" "ahn! ahn!! What now brought you here?" "shoo! That was what happened that made me take a dagger from my house, returned to the scene and stabbed the stupid idiot to death, thank God I did it just as some police officers arrived, hahaha... maybe they would have giving me jungle justice" he winked "God! just like that, in cold blood? And no regrets? You could get a life for this, hope you know?" Mr. Andrew Adaka laughed out very loud, mistakingly spilling the rest of the Pepsi that was beside his legs "I don't regret this fa,let the law have its way, at whatever lenght, what's done is been done,no better punishment would have been metted on that fool for maltreating a Priceless Treasure...

Turn around

"Hello!" "Hello Bros! Good Morning!" "Morning! Micheal abi?" "Yes bros" "How are you?" "Fine Bros" "what's wrong with your phone? I was trying to reach you yesterday" "bros! They don steal the phone o, in short na why I call you be that" "what! How come na?" "Bros! I beg I fuck up, bros! I beg forgive me, I kno..." "Wait first... That porsche abi?" "Bros I swear I no even know wetin control me yesterday" "my goodness! Micheal you have killed me... Micheal you mean... In short you're a disgrace, at age 29 Micheal you think you're still a kid abi? You know what? Just make sure when I reach house on Friday I go see that phone, I de go deliver am on Saturday morning, any other of your story na your business" the other end of the connection suddenly went dead before Mike could say a thing. He looked up to the opened toilet windows above him, 'I doubt if anyone heard this conversation' he thought. A lizard landed on the floor from the fence & nodded, he suddenly envied the lizard, no reputation to guard, no fears or worries, no troubles to face, just free. He felt exhausted and sat down on a concrete slab protruding from the wall of the house which roofed the ground floor soak-away. Another lizard suddenly materialised from a nearby shrub and engaged the lizard in a hot pursuit, 'the lizard wasn't that free after all' he thought. He scratched the back of his head, glanced at his wrist watch, vitamin D was still up for grab so there wasn't any need returning to the house, he wanted to be left alone to think so he leaned on the wall, hung his legs on the fence in a scissors and reactivated his worry mode. His elder brother Jimmy wasn't the type that made a fuss. Unlike Micheal, he never showed off, always busy trying to make more money & was very contended with his possessions. Jimmy Kassar was the first of two children of Late Mr. & Mrs. Fanen Kassar who died 17 & 12 years back respectively. Jimmy had always blamed himself for the death of his father even though his mother credited it to Mr. Fanen's pride. When Jimmy was 18 & had rounded up his SSCE, there was a night party organised for his set, a final year party for only the graduating students of FGC Malali, Kaduna which was to hold after the last WAEC Paper for the year. For security reasons, a hall in Police College Kaduna was proposed as the venue for the party while Mr. Fanen Kassar, for principles influenced by religion, forbade Jimmy from attending. Jimmy had made his father see reasons to why he must attend the party but to no avail since Mr. Fanen stood firm to his grounds. Jimmy made up his mind & sneaked out of the house at Station quarters, Kaduna, which was roughly 5km from the venue at about 11pm when his parents had retired to bed leaving little Micheal Fanen to lock the back door behind him. It was a swell party & made Jimmy discard every atom of regret for breaking his father's rules 'anything were wan happen, make e happen' he thought as he returned home in the wee hours of the morning. Mr. Fanen's big Ego was wounded upon discovering Jimmy had not obeyed his words. Irrational decisions were taken, wrong moves were made & a show of shame displayed publicly as father went way out of line to reign supremacy over son. Despite cries & pleas from family & neighbours, Mr. Fanen disowned Jimmy in his very own words, banned him from answering his name for a surname & sent the boy parking out of his house. The beg for forgiveness continued for weeks to no avail as Mr. Fanen's Ego didn't allow him go back on the decision. This disturb Mr. Fanen though, Jimmy had reacted as well during a verbal fight between father & son, "I pray this your pride doesn't kill you someday"... In another development, Jimmy also said "its your pride that made you fix your name for our surname instead of grandpa's name" these words had hit Mr. Fanen hard & he wished he never took it this far. Mr. Fanen had HBP which resulted to a Cardiac Arrest & four weeks after his brawl with his son, the 16 months retired Nigeria Railway Service officer, the ever galant pensioner kicked the bucket. Jimmy relocated to an Uncle's at Sabon Wuse in Niger State while Micheal & His Mother relocated to Mr. Fanen's poor father's house in Igbor, Gboko, Benue State. Micheal was practically a burden to his mother & paternal grand parents because his smallish physique didn't allow him work in the farm, hunt or go fishing. He was definitely younger than his age & couldn't compete with his peer group for the struggle for survival, the only way he contributed to the family was through the money he earned with his dance during the annual kwagh-hir festival. Nevertheless, Micheal was handsome, outspoken & had a touch of a city boy, which attracted a lot of village girls to him & made him the errand boy of so many village champions who couldn't approach the ladies they desire, this fetched him stipends too. Mrs. Julie F. Kassar died wretched four years later, leaving behind nothing tangible for little Micheal who had now become 16 with only a Primary School Leaving Certificate for academic success. 2 years after the death of his mother, Jimmy had visited the only blood relation he had left in Igbor & upon seeing Micheal's living conditions, made preparations to take Micheal along with him to Abaji in Abuja where he was running his one year compulsory NYSC program. As a Youth Corp member earning a monthly allowance of N9,900 from the Federal Government & N6,000 from Abaji Local Government, with a free accommodation in a secondary school staff quarters situated at a very remote part of Abaji, Jimmy had a fat savings & was capable of catering for the welfare of he & Micheal. He took it upon himself to sponsor Micheal's education to any length if He would drop the Ego & start from JSS 1. Micheal grabbed the opportunity with opened arms, thanks to his deceptive physique, which allowed him process another birth certificate, taking 6 years out of his current age. Micheal successfully rounded up his SSCE & secured admission to study Political Science in University of Abuja while Jimmy on the other hand resorted to self employment, running a Laptop & Phone supply company, located in Abuja, having worked with various private companies. Jimmy resided in Gwagwalada, Abuja because of Micheal, he wanted to be close to his brother to be able to cater for his welfare financially & emotionally and make sure he never lacks or have any cause to revisit history.

Micheal who resided in Jimmy's that seldom stays at home kept a whole lot of secrete from his circle of friends, amongst the lot was his age of which he was thought to be the youngest. Family history was another secrete, everyone believed Micheal came from a wealthy home, born with a silver spoon & owned the house he resided in Gwagwalada. Micheal would put a large framed photo of himself in the living room in Jimmy's absence, wear Jimmy's expensive clothes & shoes & go withdraw imaginary money sent to him from his imaginary wealthy parents. To further cover his secrete, he became reserved, an introvert & deceptive, showed off to impress, attracting loads of campus girls. Maintaining this false high standard made him insert his sim card in the new Blackberry p'9981 porsche designed phone Jimmy had purchased for N350,000 on demand, he had lied to his friends that he bought it & didn't really like the phone as such he was likely to resell it any soon. Now the phone had been stolen, Jimmy is mad at him, his reputation stood on a cliff edge, soon to hit the rocks. "I will not break down, I'm Tiv, I dare not fall my own hand" he said quietly to him self and snapped back to reality. He felt moist on his face, vitamin D had gone on a break to return the following day, the sun threatened to rip off his eye balls, he got up from the slab, stood on his feet, swiped his hands at the back of his trousers severally, took 5 steps from the back to the side of the house, and 15 steps more brought him to the stair case where he began the slow climb to the apartment he occupied with his elder brother, enveloped with the thought of his next line of action. "Mike! Mike!! See this guy, were you de since? Na you I just de find up & down" Emma came rushing up the stairs while Micheal paused at the front door he was about opening before Emma showed up "I been no lost na, why you de find me?" "Inspector Adamu called me since that they've found my car" "what! So fast? Where?" "For kwali, its like them no fit activate the security so the car off for road" Emma smiled, looking very happy & anxious to go to Kwali. Micheal who knew it was useless to have any hope of his phone still being in the car reciprocated the smile and pretended happy "wetin you de wait for? Where's Jacob? Let's go na"

Mrs. Ralia's cold war

My tab's notification tone brought me back to reality so i checked and read the message then hoistered it. I stood up and proceeded to the kitchen to wash my hands, leaving my plate in a mess on the dining table. The kitchen window over looked the side of our house and i could see Ralia as she continued with the laundry, there was something different about her. She wasn't that pathetic Ralia who had retreated to her shell and will only come out when very necessary, she had brightened up, smiling and was even huming a song i couldn't pick as she washed. She looked younger now, i even  discovered she had dimples and this made me frown again. 'What's amusing this fool?' I thought, just then the very loud ringtone from her Nokla mobile phone, a replica of the original Nokia and had managed to stand the test of time added to the Noise pollution in Lagos State. She immediately pressed a key that made the phone hush, looked from left to right without noticing me because i had ducked in the kitchen and she ran towards the backyard. 'What's this stupid thing up to' i asked myself in a thought as i tiptoed to the guest room toilet where i could view the backyard. I heard her speak to the scrap of a phone very happily as she replied the caller "yes Linda, he said that to me, i think he's coming back". I hated myself the more, 'said what?' I thought. Suddenly i realised what my so called sucker punch was: 'of course yes, i love it just the way it is just like i love you just the way you are'.

Gaga

"My name is... Well, I don't even know who I am any longer, I could give an identity and be referred to yet a different ward." The man at the other side of the desk nodded briefly & adjusted his bulk in the white lab coat with an 'MPL' inscribed lapel. Extensive research by virtue of his profession had taught him not to interrupt sessions like this. "Go on" "I've been subjected to defying several natural laws as regards my age, name, parents & even my body.... You don't have to give me that look, I can sense what's behind the mask" the other man remained mute. "Are you listening to me at all?" "Who subjected you to defying several natural laws?" Silence fell in the large beautifully designed windowless room that contained a desk, two chairs & water dispenser only. A door served as entrance & exit of the Air Conditioned tight room while the bright lights were such that you could visualise the pore were the next strand of your arm hair would emanate from. "Of course yes, I forgot, they all listen but never believes, I'm only talking because I want to." Still no reply "My name is Mathew, Mathew Adisa, I was a co owner of Baldisa Pharmaceutical LTD. I'm pretty sure the file before you says something different, that my name is Olukemi Olaolu, I'm 6 years old, blah! Blah!! Blah!!! Well, how can a six year old speak like this? Its none of my business if the Dumb choose to stay dumb though, I've accepted my faith, all I want now is to be done with all you doctors & return to my acclaimed parents. Its best with them than here" he bowed his head, trying to hide the tears that had formed in his eyes but to no avail. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, more tears rolled out, so he used his shirt & dabbed his eyes while the other man just sat there starring at him, whereas from his breast pocket protrude a handkerchief. "Do you know you're wicked? Of all the Doctors that has had a session with me, you're the meanest. Courtesy demands you at least show some sympathy" "you stopped at BPL, do you wish to continue? Or is that the end? I wouldn't mind taking my leave" "What! Just fuck off! You are a disgrace to the medical profession, what rubbish!" The other man gathered up the file on the table, stood up to take his leave & paused at the door when he heard "wait first! Did you say BPL?" "Yup" "you mean its still in existence?" He asked excitedly in a reassuring mood "are you now ready to help me help you?" He frowned again "in as much as I hate your attitude, I'm nevertheless ready" the other man shook his head in pity "for the record, I'm not a Doctor" thought for a while and returned to his seat, placing the folder on the table, he didn't unstrap it this time around. "Bala was a friend I met during my service year in Niger state. He's the son of Alhaji Sidi Ndayakwo & was stinking wealthy. I had my plans of running a standard pharmaceutical company with state of the art equipment someday, the only thing missing in the plan was funds. Bala on the other hand was an entrepreneur in the making. I succeeded in bringing him in on my plans & we bonded like pinky and the brain. Bala is a Nupe guy from Niger state & I was forewarned of the Nupe peoples' fetish life style, but I never listened. My Mum once told me that they did Juju a lot & that the only thing she liked about them was that, if they have loved you, its forever, they would always be there for you." He stood up, went to the water dispenser & helped himself with a cup of cold water. He stood there staring at the empty cup after drinking the water. "You asked them not to tie me up because you think in my tiny structure, I can't be of any harm to you right? ... I succeeded in stealing your pen, what if I now stab you with it?" "Can you skip the intro part that consists of fetish people & fill me in on what really happened to you?" The other man said without even turning his face to look at who just threatened him. "Hehehe! Doc! I'm beginning to fall in love with your guts... Well... I'm glad that you aren't treating me with the insane gloves, at least for once I could use some human rights... Here you go" he handed the pen back & returned to his seat. "Against all odds we started BPL, as expected, I ran the company while Bala funded it, business was booming and we resorted to expand through West to East Africa and further North, South would be our last stop in Africa before we proceeded to other continents. We were moving faster than our projection, as rich as Bala was, he was never spoilt. He neither drank nor smoked, he loved the expensive life though but still was a hard worker. If there was something you wouldn't like about him, it was his attitude. He got bored easily & wasn't the type that would live his life to impress anyone. I got married few years later to Hannah against the wishes of Bala & like every other person, my wife detested Bala. I made her see reasons to why I'm just managing to cope with him all to no avail. Now I want you to get this straight, Hannah my wife is a very pretty lady who attended the same school with Bala in the UK. Bala would say 'she's a gold digger who only paraded her self as a student of my school so as to achieve her selfish aim of commercial sex, she eventually got caught & was deported back to Nigeria.' Hannah on the other hand told me that she lost her parents in her second year and couldn't afford the expenses of her education. This resulted to her relocation back to Nigeria. As for Bala's accusations, she told me that Bala had once asked her out, but despite his money and social status, she declined because she was a good Christian and would only settle for the likes, I'm pretty sure you would understand why Bala suddenly hated me and wanted to be rid of me. Hannah is from Kogi State & they have lots of Mallams in her village that could check one's destiny & pray for one's protection using religious sacrifices. We visited one who checked & it was discovered that Bala wanted to cut me off the company. After much incantations he confirmed that Bala had got my replacement. I plunged into inquiries, lo & behold the answer surfaced. His half brother was studying pharmacy abroad and Bala intended making me run mad, which would result to my death. He gave me some charms & asked me to bring 10 million Naira to complete the job for protection and to ricochet Bala's plans. I didn't intend paying up because despite Bala's supposed plans, I felt he had been a blessing to me, he had delivered and sacrificed a lot for me without even having full details about me. If he was done with me, I didn't really have much problem with that. I had the brain & capital would no longer be a problem. Little did I know I was digging my own grave by not listening to my wife." He paused and examined the room, looked at the clean shaved man wearing a disinterested look on his face, grunted and looked up to the fine designed ceiling "This is the part were everybody thinks I'm crazy, I won't blame you if you do too. Some six to seven years back, I returned home from a hectic day at work, it was the period I was preparing for my sack as such I was trying to clear up my desk, leaving behind the unimportant things and hoping to confront Bala the next day. I never payed up for retaliation to Bala, I only came home with a million Naira in cash that I hoped to pay for my protection. Meanwhile, I had already contacted my Pastor who was away on a missionary trip and he promised to pray for me and see me the moment he arrived the country. My lovely wife pampered me with a massage that night and we had a once in a life time Dinner together." He smiled & shook his head. Two disinterested eyes stayed fixed on him waiting for him to be done with his hallucinations. "We slept together that night & I woke up alone in this Baby body & cot, in a different family. I couldn't speak but babble, I couldn't move my limbs, I was stripped off virtually every connections with myself, the only thing I had left was my mind and memory, Bala had succeeded." He looked sharply to catch an amused Doctor at his latest statements but was disappointed when unlike the other Doctors, the other man remained inpatient-like with his looks fixed. "I went through sucking of breasts, being carried about, waited for my time to talk & walk, witnessed & heard a whole lot of evil plans and revelations because every one thought I was just a baby. I waited patiently to grow up again so as to seek for answers to a whole lot of questions. When I was six and was able to move freely, I interacted a lot & got to meet someone who told me that it was possible to assume someone else's body through voodoo activities. He made references to witch craft activities in Benin City and gave me a story book, 'the Bottled Leopard' by Chukwuemeka Ike which explained a whole lot as regards my condition, though with Animals, Bala is really a wicked person. I ran away from my new family, trying to locate my wife & help her understand what had happened and probably source for a solution & get back at Bala. I found Hannah in her new place of work, a boutique to be precise. I confronted her & of cause every person in his or her right senses would scream at this, she wasn't left out. When she got hold of her self, she sent her sales girls away to be left alone with me, I would have succeeded in my quest if not for one of the sales girls, the very foolish one who called the police." I went through series of questioning & series of Child Right Protection agencies, but unfortunately for me I had forgotten a lot of details of my previous life & no one seemed to believe anything I said, I eventually turned into a laughing stock. It was concluded that I was mentally deranged and ever since, I've been through wards to wards, doctors to doctors, injections, pills & multiple sedatives. Right now, I don't even know where I am, who I am or what I've got to do with the rest of my life. I don't even care any longer, if there's one thing I yearn for right now, is going back to the bunch of scum bags that call them selves my parents. The last Doctor before you told me that you said you were going to help me, I've told you my story Doc, what's the plan now?" The other man suddenly got up in annoyance, throwing his chair back. "You disgust me, you brought your own destruction upon yourself, I'm not a Doctor, better stop addressing me as Doc" he hissed and made for the door in quick pace muttering in anger. "So you're not even a Doctor? You fool without manners, you disgust me too" he retaliated with a little temper, raising his voice just as the door slammed on its lock. In anger, he kicked the desk to an upside down position while the folder that was on it shattered its files to pieces on the floor. He proceeded to the water dispenser, ripped its wire of the wall and flung the machine to a far end of the room, wrecking it while its contents splattered on the wall. He looked for something else to destroy but found none, he held his head in frustration and collapsed on the floor in a sitting position, resting his back on the wall. From a distant, he heard hailing followed by claps, he hissed and look to the ground 'let me even see what's in this folder about me' he gathered up the spilled files, excerpts from tabloids, magazines & other documents from the folder & dropped them down before him for perusal. The headlines that had been highlighted from the lot of the tabloids included 'reputable pharmacists go gaga' with a rider 'babbles like a baby', 'big blow struck on BPL', 'Bala Ndayakwo breaks down at his business partner's hospital bed', 'BPL Pinky vows to get to the root of Brain's predicament', 'UK deportee, Hannah Adisa denies ever attending any school in the UK' with a rider 'I only had friends whom I always visited in the University', 'Mathew Adisa dies at 41, four days after he was admitted in a psychiatric hospital' 'Bala pays huge sums of money to retrieve Late Adisa's body from the morgue for proper autopsy', 'BPL boss drags wife of late partner to court for heavy dosage of morphine discovered in partner's body system', 'Hannah pleads not guilty to charges levied against her by Bala Ndayakwo', 'Bala looses case to Hannah, pays 20 million Naira for damages', 'widowed Hannah re marries first love, a year after husband's death', the 6 year old boy in awe picked interest in the photo below the headline. "So, she re married that so called Mallam? Old time boy friend for that matter?" He laughed and proceeded to the next tabloid 'Ndayakwo renames company: MPL (Mathisa Pharmaceutical LTD)' 'Mother of Late Mathew Adisa & Sister receives 100 Million Naira from MPL', 'Mrs. Mary P. Adisa dies at age 73'. The next documents contained an appointment letter and documentation papers. Tears of sorrow and joy rolled down his cheeks, he stood up and proceeded to the unlocked door. Opened it and found himself in a neat passage with different people on lab coats. A lady in a lab coat that carried the 'MPL' logo which he recognised as Sandra walked up to him, bent down a little and greeted "welcome back Sir, finally we found you". Another cute lady rushed towards them and greeted like the first lady, wearing the same white lab coat "oyoyo! Oyoyo!! Sir! Am i dreaming?" Without bothering to wipe the tears off his eyes, he said "Sandra & Funmi, best twins ever, you're all grown up now" and they laughed in joy. More people on MPL lab coat approached this 6 years old little man who was once their boss & is hoped to resume his previous position with MPL. All of these workers approached with joy & happiness, some in tears while others just wore bubbly faces. He held Sandra's arm and she bent down to hear what he got to say "Sandra! Please where can I find Bala?" "Ah! The moment Mr. Bala left you in your office, he broke the news to us and left the building in anger, I think he finally has a way to even the score with your ex wife..." She further bent so as to whisper in His ear "... You can see he now keeps a clean face right? He said you once told him to do that, since you left, he has never been himself".

Fine boy

"Writing is every writer's passion, he must not be really good at it. When a writer lost a dear one, he creates a related fiction in his mind as events unfold, the writer does the same with the sweetest of experiences. But when 'writers block' sets in, the writer is more of devastated, it tends to be the worse thing that could ever happen. All efforts made to avert the situation would definitely prove abortive since it knocks at the writers' door & exits unannounced. At this, the writer goes paranoid, it takes a strong willed writer to shake off the shackle & cope. If you happen to be a casual friend to the writer experiencing 'writers block', your friendship is highly appreciated at this time for you come in handy in so many ways you or even the writer might not be aware of. The reverse turns out to be the case for a wife or any intimate partner who has little or no knowledge of the situation. The sudden realisation of being less important to your partner compared to writing, irrespective of the tangible & intangible favours, the time & the commitment, drives anyone crazy & everyone reserves the right to go crazy at this. Its okay to react in whatever way but never let your reactions be a custodian to actions that results to break up. How you react, helps the writer in the long run for it becomes a basis, an idea or a reference point for yet another story, the writer is never in a hurry to get your replacement, so why subject self to the loosing end? Please & please do not get it twisted for I'm not invariably insinuating that spouses & partners of writers are practically lucky to be with writers, my intentions here is to authoritatively paint you a very fine picture of reality using Chioma's just concluded drama for a base, publish it in my blog, share it on Facebook & twitter, sit back, relax & wait for her return in roughly 2 weeks time." He dropped his pen & grinned, 'I would take out that last point sha' he thought. Edet had just recovered from a writers block, all thanks to Chioma who had flipped her lid at his lackadaisical attitude to issues surrounding her boutique business which she tried to share with him 20 minutes back. They were both in the living room on this faithful sunday evening, watching a Nollywood movie with absent minds when she brought it up. He had reacted carelessly & therefore triggered an anger she had been nursing for a while, bringing up old issues & making references to times & events unexpectedly. His mood was further soured, making him loose grip on himself & jammed a flat palm on her bare face, escorted by a sharp scream & dead silence. He turned & left for his bedroom, slamming the door hard & collapsing on the chair by his reading table, this situation ushered in inspiration therefore pen was put to paper. He listened attentively, heard her footsteps pacing about the house 'pretty sure she's packing her bags again' he thought, like always, he had no intentions of stopping her, she goes & always returns, a break of a week, 10 days at most. He needed that break badly & he was sure & glad he's getting it, after all she wasn't his wife yet. He hit a key on the keyboard of his PC & the VDU came alive, typing commenced, "best recovery ever, God Bless you Chioma" he whispered & blew a kiss towards the door.

Approximately 15 minutes later, Edet proof read the post for the last time & was about clicking on the 'publish' button when he saw the handle of his door bend, Chioma tried to open the door to no avail so she knocked. Edet assumed she had packed her bags & wanted leaving but needed transport fare, so he proceeded to his bedside drawer to collect his wallet. Chioma knocked again & kicked the door this time around, "you this barbarian, if you like don't open this door, your mates are fighting financial wars & slapping bank Managers, you're here slapping me abi? Shameless idiot! Open this door and see if I don't ruin your future this evening" 'bang... Bang... Bang...' She continued on the door. Edet thought against the idea of giving her transport fare to leave 'I got my mojo back, why not just go out, calm her down, take her bags & return them to the guest room she occupied each time she visited, make it up with her, prepare dinner together & have the best of evenings.' He chuckled, the insults she rained at him by the door was rather amusing. He made up his mind, braced up, walked to the door and paused as her voice became louder "my friend shut up there & get me my lunch" he barked and stifled a laugh, he paused to hear her react as expected. "Okay, your lunch abi? Don't worry". He heard her footstep fade away & chuckled till he felt she had returned. He wore a mask of hard face as the first step to apologising, turned the key on the lock and heard her mute at the sound, then opened the door to be greeted with the shock of his life. The red-faced-sully-eyes Chioma was standing facing Edet. Between the two of them was her stretched out hands holding a pot of which the contents had already developed wings & put it to use. The hot undone beans splattered on Edet's face & the horror that followed wasn't bargained for at all.